I know we like to give modern medicine a lot of grief, seeing as it's 2011 and they still haven't cured cancer. But if THIS is what they're focusing their efforts on instead, we really can't argue.
--Recently in Newcastle, England, 45-year-old Martin Douglas and his girlfriend, 43-year-old Maria Topp, were out until 4:00 A.M. drinking. When they got home, they started arguing.
--Martin passed out drunk . . . but Maria still wanted to strike the winning blow in the argument.
(--CAREFUL!) So . . . she BIT OFF his TESTES.
--He was rushed to the hospital, where doctors were able to fully treat him. It took several surgeries, but everything was back together and working within a week.
--Maria was arrested and charged with causing grievous bodily harm. She'll be in court next month.
RELATED COMEDY: A man in England had his testicles surgically reattached after his girlfriend bit them off. Kind of gives new meaning to the term "sack lunch."