Comic-Con is under way in San Diego and is expected to draw 100,000 people. Let's check out what the nerds are up to with the Top Things Overheard at Comic-Con.
--It took me awhile, but I finally figured out a way to use my inhaler without removing my Darth Vader mask.
--I was at my breakfast table eating a bagel with cream cheese when I heard Green Lantern was gay. Where were you?
--Check it out! Robert Downey Jr. autographed my retainer box!
(CAREFUL)--I hear hookers are offering a "Lord of the Rings" special: for an extra $20 they'll let you slip THEM on your finger.
--I really want to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not because I'm a fan. Because I just learned I'm his biological son.
--Honestly, I have no opinion on who would win in a fight between The Avengers and The Justice League. (Oops. Sorry. That's something you'd NEVER overhear at Comic-Con.)
--Hey, well-adjusted guy with a girlfriend: your kind isn't welcome here.
--Uh-oh. The line to meet Peter Jackson just challenged the line to meet Joss Whedon to a dweeb-off.
(CAREFUL)--Please, friend, tell me more of this mystical thing called a "vagina."
--Aw, man . . . her Magic Lasso looks way more real than mine!
--What's in my utility belt? Mostly Skittles and Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
--You've never heard of "Firefly"? If I didn't have asthma I'd kick your ass right now!
--So now the Ninja Turtles are the product of aliens and not radioactive ooze? Can you say, "Totally far-fetched?"
--Yes, I have plenty of issues. Every issue of "Batman", every issue of "X-Men", every issue of "Green Lantern" . . .
--Lou Ferrigno! I'll have a foot-long hot dog and a large Slushie.
--I was wondering where that janitor got that incredibly authentic Luke Skywalker costume. Then I realized that janitor is Mark Hamill.
--Meep. Zorp. Why won't girls talk to me? Whirr.
--Hey, Klingon . . . your mother has a smooth forehead. In YOUR face!
--I'm pretty sure this is the only lost and found on earth that has nothing but inhalers.
--I resent being labeled an "awkward geek." Particularly because I think of myself as more of a "nerdy loser."
--Wow, those are the most realistic Wookie and Ewok costumes I've ever seen! What do you mean, "That's Khloe Kardashian and Snooki?"
--Here comes William Shatner. Pretend we're in the middle of a deep conversation.
--That's not a guy in a Jabba the Hutt costume. That's Val Kilmer.
--When are they going to make a character more like its fans . . . Type 2 Diabetes Man?
--Do you think they'll change the ending to "The Hobbit" now that he's divorcing Katie Holmes?
--Last time I had sex? You know, I always find that more fun to answer in light years.