Most world records are pretty lame. And the losers who dedicate their lives to attaining them are even more pathetic. But not all world records are created equal. Some are MANLIER than others. And here are the 12 MANLIEST . . .
#1.) Heaviest Weight Dangled from a Swallowed Sword: Last year, a British guy named Thomas Blackthorne set a new world record by hanging more than 55 pounds from a sword he'd jammed down his throat. The old record was 44 pounds.
(--Here's video of the old, 44-pound record . . .)
#2.) Heaviest Weight Lifted by the Tongue: Believe it or not, Thomas Blackthorne holds this one too. In 2004, he lifted 25 pounds using only a hook through his tongue.
#3.) Heaviest Aircraft Pulled: Last year, a guy named Kevin Fast pulled a 188-ton transport airplane called the CC-177 Globemaster Three more than 28 feet. That's like pulling 40 African elephants.
#4.) Most Pushups in an Hour on the Back of the Hands: In 2007, a British guy named Paddy Doyle did 1,940 pushups on the back of his hands in just one hour. That's a rate of one pushup every two seconds.
(--Here he is doing a measly 663 back-of-hand pushups in an hour . . . wearing a 40 pound back-pack.)
#5.) Most Concrete Blocks Broken: Last year, a guy named Ali Bahcetepe smashed his way through 888 concrete blocks, using just his hands, in 60 seconds. (--Here he is breaking 565 concrete blocks in 43 seconds . . .)
#6.) Oldest Father: In 2007, a farmer from India named Nanu Ram Jogi became the world's oldest new father when his fourth wife gave birth to his 21st kid at the age of 90.
#7.) Heaviest Deadlift: This record belongs to a guy from Iceland named Benedikt Magnússon. He somehow managed to hoist 1,102 pounds.
#8.) Most Live Rattlesnakes Held in the Mouth: In 2006, a guy named Jackie Bibby stuffed the tails of ten live rattlesnakes in his mouth, and held them there for a full ten seconds. (--Here he is in a sleeping bag with 150 of them.)
#9.) Most Burgers Eaten: This one belongs to competitive eater Joey Chestnut. In 2007, he wolfed down 103 Krystal burgers . . . which are like White Castle burgers . . . in just eight minutes.
--As a side note, Joey also holds world records for eating 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in ten minutes, 45 pulled pork sandwiches in ten minutes, 68 Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs in ten minutes, and 241 chicken wings in ten minutes.
#10.) Heaviest Weight Lifted: In 1957, a guy named Paul Anderson back-lifted a ridiculous 6,270 pounds. That's like using your shoulders to lift two Honda Civics with a 200-pound man inside each of them.
#11.) (--CAREFUL!) Furthest Expulsion of Man-Juice: Allegedly, a guy named Holst Shultz expelled a stream of man-juice 18-feet 9-inches. It also shot over 12 feet high, and was clocked at nearly 43 miles per hour.
#12.) Longest Dong: Officially, a guy named Jonah Falcon is recognized as having the world's longest man-junk. He's an aspiring actor who lives with his mom. (???)
--His unit's been measured at 13.5 inches when he's aroused, and Jonah says when he's fully ENGORGED, he gets lightheaded from a lack of blood. (???)
(--Jonah's cell phone number is 718-613-9418, and he's happy to talk to you about his mammoth trouser snake. If you had what he's got, wouldn't you?)
(--Check out some photos of Jonah and his junk at this link. WARNING!!! GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD!!!)
(--And check out some safer photos of Jonah here . . .)